Pastor Can’t Cope with the Pressure

9/11/2018

I was troubled, but not shocked, by the news I received last night. Another Pastor, whose name I will withhold due to the pain the family is suffering, ended his life. The cause of death was listed as self-inflicted.

This 30 year old Pastor had a thriving Church, a beautiful family, and Church members who adored him. Although some recognized his emotional trouble, apparently no one knew how to properly assist him through the journey so he could conquer it and use it as a testimony to others.

A Common Occurrence

Pastors are among the most depressed and most burned out employment group in the USA. They walk a fine line between their spiritual life and their human, personal life. They must be appear outgoing and friendly with members and those whom they hope will attend their Church, but also must maintain a spiritual life acceptable to God. A Church attendee may tell a joke that is slightly off color, expecting the Pastor to laugh, but at the same time it may be unacceptable to the Holy Spirit.

The Pastor’s family is usually held to a higher standard than other Church members. This inequality pits the Pastor against protecting the rights of his family while maintaining a certain standard visible to his Congregation.

Another Factor

Issues the Pastor confronts with Church Members who want to live below the Church’s Biblical standards, but still want to be leaders in the Church, and disgruntled Board Members who did not get their way in the Board Meeting are things the Pastor must keep locked within the confines of his soul. Pastors keep these and many other issues from their spouse for fear the spouse will unload on the Church or Board Member.

The Pastor’s spouse is expected to be nice to those in the Church when the spouse would probably rather take them out behind the Church and beat some sense into them.

The stress of trying to keep Church Members content so they will continue to attend and tithe while trying to be supportive of his spouse and children often places the Pastor in a lose-lose situation. If the Pastor wins with the Member, he or she often loses with his or her own spouse or children.

Pastor’s Wife Leaves Rather than Fight with Husband

Pastor Brown sat in his chair on the platform during that Sunday Morning service. His wife’s routine usually had her arriving to Church at 10-15 minutes after the start of the morning service. This kept her from having to contend with the gossip and backbiting among Church members.

This Sunday she was later than usual. Service had been going for about 30 minutes and still no sign of the First Lady. Praise and Worship would be finished in about 10 minutes and out of concern, Pastor sent his Head Deacon and his wife to see what could possibly be wrong. Pastor had the Music Pastor continue Praise and Worship for another 20 minutes. By then the Deacon and his wife returned, but the look on their faces did not paint a pretty scenario.

They called the Pastor out of the Sanctuary to give him the bad news and the note from the First Lady. They told the Pastor that his home had been emptied of its furniture and they found the note from the First Lady which read: “I cannot handle the pressure placed upon me as a Pastor’s Wife nor can I handle you walking a tight rope trying to please me or please your congregation. Please do not look for me. You will be hearing from my attorney soon. I wish you all the best.”

The Loneliest Position on the Planet

The Pastor to which I referred to open this Blog committed suicide. The Pastor, to which I just referred, lost his family. Neither scenario is pretty.

A Pastor usually walks alone in the city in which he or she pastors. Some Pastors have friends in other locations with which he or she “can let their hair down” without it posing any negative consequences to his or her Ministry. Unfortunately, most do not have that option.

Therefore, the Pastor walks alone—at least in the natural realm.

Why You Need Us

Every Pastor should become connected to The International Congress of Churches and Ministers (ICCM), and should attend the next Church Management Conference closest to your location.

With more than 80 years of experience providing oversight to Ministers and Churches we are the safety net which Pastors can fall upon when the stress and struggles of Ministry become unbearable. No Pastor should ever entertain the thoughts of suicide or the attacks of depression. You Do Not Have to Go it Alone! We are here for you.

Even though you may be ordained through another organization you can connect with us by calling 800-854-5891 or visit us online at www.iccmworldwide.org. We encourage every Pastor to register for the next Church Management Conference by calling 800-344-0076 or registering online at www.cmtc.org.

DO NOT ALLOW THE ATTACK OF LONELINESS OR DEPRESSION DESTROY WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO—WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

By Dr. Michael Chitwood

What You Will Learn at our Conferences

Our Church Management Conferences will arm you with the information you must have to shield your Church or Ministry from IRS intrusiveness; teach you how to get your Taxes to the lowest possible rate; and daily operate your Church or Ministry within IRS acceptable guidelines.

Our Conferences have been taught across the Nation for over 48 years. Because of the Penalties, Fines, and even Imprisonment that the IRS imposed on many Churches and Pastors, Dr. Chitwood felt led by the Holy Spirit to become a buffer between Churches, Ministers, and the IRS.